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Is this project some type of post production Armageddon prophesied to return? If so then we must begin the sacrifices in earnest in order to appease the beast.

The above is the best way of describing what working in TV is like sometime.

Ahhhhhh so happy it's not my project!


Nov. 28th, 2013

I am so angry right now....

Mcr have told me a drive hasn't arrived and yet the client is saying courier company dropped it off at 10.10 this evening.

I then have the pleasure of calling our Mcr 10 times before someone answers the damn phone to be greeted by Jim who is slurring his words. He was meant to leave at 9pm today and he is refusing to hand the phone to someone on shift. He is also slurring his words and rude so automatically it pisses me off.

FUCKING DRIVES and courier companies I mean seriously!!!!!!


2+1= 4

One of the production managers on a job I am looking after sent me a message saying...

Are we delivering hdcam 1080 50i stereo M+E or so I want to know how many HDCam SR's we need.

My reply- we don't need Hdcam SR's the spec says Hdcam so we need 16 HDcam's in total.

PM- oh I see I wasn't sure if that meant we needed to deliver HDCam Sr with Dolby and 5.1

Me- walks away from computer to calm down and then show's Ewan who says...

Ewan- is that what your having to deal with?

There are no words to how stupid that sounds but for those who read this and think , I have no idea what your talking about...
There is no mention of Hdcamsr on the tech spec or 5.1 or Dolby.

Also think of it as someone saying I am going to New York. Oh right so your going to New Orleans via Nebraska. No I am going to New York oooo sorry so you should meet my friend Dick in La.

Thank you and good night!


Nov. 27th, 2013

I think it's safe to say that I am under the most amount of pressure that I have ever been under...

I am so nearly there with Time Scanners i have to deliver 18 shows by the 9th December 6 of which will leave the building tomorrow.

When this project is over I should find out if I can loose the junior part of my title. I deserve it and I know that I need this. Hell we all know I need this.

Come on just keep swimming!!!!


My brain is being several kinds of evil to me today.

I need to do something to break this circle of life I find myself in because no matter how much you can look back on what has or hasn't happened unless you put one foot in front of the other and trust that you are meant to be exactly where you then how are you ever meant to get to where you are supposed to be?



Band Chasing

I heard about a documentary on Channel 4 about One Direction Fans an its called Crazy for One Direction and I was discussing it with people at work yesterday and they all said. I was never into music in that way and I said I was...

They all started asking my questions about it and granted none of them grew up in London and had the same access to it as I do.

I have so many good memories of what we used to refer to as band chasing and as I watch this documentary I think in this day and age this film could be something I was in, although I'd like to think I would have never gone to their home town or houses but then I can't honestly say that would be true because I didn't really like bands that were fr the uk.

Here are some of my favourite and most random memories in no particular order...

1. Coming out of a Backstreet Boys concert and seeing a Limo being convinced that Brian was in it and bursting into tears.

2. Phoning Lou Pearlman's hotel room and leaving messages for him and pretending to be members of boy bands who he was rumoured to have slept with.

3. Asking Lou Pearlman about the fact that he was no longer representing Stevie and Tilky and would be then be dropping Aaron carter.

4. Telling Clint Moffatt that I Loved him and believing every word of it.

More grown up

5. Going to the Pub with Mest after the uk headline show.

6. Going "on tour" with good Charlotte and Mest Supporting running out of money in Manchester and Nick from Mest helping us get back to our hotel.

7. Getting my DVDs of the Mest Bus and sleeping on FOBS bus.

8. Stealing the nhoi album from the Mest bus with Annabelle

There are so many more that I can't remember.


This honesty happened today...

This honestly happened today

I'm not sure whether the tape coming in to you will be HD - if it is SD, will there be a way to render the logo compatible with the rest of the SOLW project? If you could please kindly take a look when the tape arrives and let me know if you foresee any problems transferring the RD logo.

Seriously yes I foresee a problem. IT'S SD AND YOUR DELIVERING HD.

That's like saying in in London, I am going to stay still for the next 15 minutes and when I open my eyes we will be in Scotland. Love you can pretend to be in Scotland all you like we are still in London.

Ahhh your meant to be one of the good clients.



I am so unbelievably frustrated at the moment I hate this feeling of well I don't really know how to describe it really.

I've applied for few jobs and to be honest not sure id like to do any of them. I've hovered over the book now on several trips I've looked at and not pressed the button and I've required about a couple of flat shares.

I am so hard on myself and my own worst enemy and critic.

I asked to loose the junior part of my title and I hate the fact it's still there after 2 years. I don't even particularly want to do this job and I think a part of it is because I am about to start the biggest job I have ever looked after and I am genuinely shitting myself.

Nicky have me the project and I am ready for it. I only really have that going on over the next month or so. I just need to not worry about it and approach it in another way.

I need to work out how to understand it and enjoy learning from it because it will all be over on the 30th September and I can look back an be proud of myself.

That's all I need to do and the rest will fall into place. It's going to be okay and I will make it through so I just need to stop thinking the worst.


Jul. 25th, 2013

I wish I wasn't so angry but I am. Today was ridiculous when no one is telling you what's going on and when they do there are 5 people in the room and they are all saying don't get stroppy and it's one of those thing that the job I am doing at the moment isn't a normal jobs and I am the one with the most short form knowledge but no everyone else is right.

So because I say that it's the way that the client wants it and has signed it off even though you don't agree with it doesn't make you right and certainly doesn't give you the right to go and get drunk instead of doing the job and you keep saying I will call you and you don't, you say I will go through it am you don't. Instead your balance has gone, you are obviously stoned or drunk, your colleagues are covering for you and my job isn't being done and now I am the one lying here stressed and pissed off because tomorrow I need to call my clients client and tell them they aren't getting there tapes because you refused to put them on the shorter tapes and now you aren't in tomorrow and I need to deliver the damn things.

I hope your really fucking hungover tomorrow. I cannot even tell you how many times people have covered for you when it comes to your drinking. You punched a £10,000 monitor and "it fell", your slept at work because you were working late aka I was drunk, tapes fail tech review and it the one you stayed late to finish it.

As much as I hate what I do for a living right now, you have to be fucking miserable to carry on with this job. I know you got fired soon after I started at Blue and I text Kim tonight to say I couldn't make it out and said it was due to Jim and she said is he drunk?

Anyway I give up and I don't know why I was looking forward to a short form job. I am also going to be really busy now until end of September my two projects finish in september and there aren't any new project that have been handed to me.

Mum gave me £1000 today from my granny's money and its so tempting to just go traveling. But I could just be sensible get out of my overdraft an save.

This post hasn't made me feel any better at all.

Trying to let it go....


One two three

Not the biggest fan of Sundays and I am one of the most Impatient people I know. What's wrong with me?